I've been told I'm not funny...

You may know that this sentiment offends me greatly. You may know that I've spent the last two weeks refuting it. You may know that I'm eating a strawberry yogurt despite the fact that I'm a fantastic lactard. But I bet you don't know what level my gastric distress will reach in the next six hours. Neither do I. Neither do I...

But the funny thing. Despite hurling my best arguments at these people and myself, I have been unable to convince my critics- or McBoozenstein herself- that I'm funny. Per these guys, I'm irrefutably quick witted, sarcastic, and able to make anything...ANYTHING...a sexual innuendo, but I'm not independently amusing.

For instance: when prodded to "do something funny"...can't do it. "Tell us a funny story"...I froze. I think I could pull that if really necessary; I did get skewered on a fence, after all. But, not funny. I accept this, I suppose. Guess I'll just keep making dick jokes and saying "that's what the hooker said!" I'm down with that